Self-Care as an Act of Resistance (Self-Soothing Toolkit Included)
- Krystal Ying, LMFT, LPCC, LPC
- 1 hour ago
- 8 min read
Taking care of yourself is an action, a way of resisting tyranny and the destabilization of our communities.
Use this toolkit to reclaim your center - methods to implement immediately if needed! Below are resources - including explanations and a visual guide. These techniques help us survive and are intentional, deliberate actions against fascism and its attempts to knock us off balance. Self-care is self-preservation amidst oppression and overwhelm.
This post is for folx destabilized or traumatized by what's been happening here - such as communities attacked by ICE raids, murders of innocent people, abductions of kids and families torn apart, inhumane detainment camps, and many more atrocities.
Trauma effects can be destabilizing and disempowering. Not only does violence harm the victim and their loved ones, but it can be traumatizing (i.e. secondary trauma) for bystanders witnessing or hearing about such crimes against people.
Resourcing yourself can help you regain your footing. To be clear, these self-soothing tools are not meant to promote the tolerance or normalization of oppression, but instead are strategies to resist the weaponization of collective fear, hopelessness, helplessness, overwhelm, and despair. Taking care of ourselves is an active will of survival, and an action that we can deliberately take to fight the system's attempts to disempower the people - us.
Equipping Yourself With Resources: A Toolkit
Below is a self-soothing toolkit to increase self- agency and power - things that the administration, with its lineage to colonization, is trying to extinguish.
By equipping yourself with strategies such as grounding, containment, centering, somatic touch, loving kindness meditation, movement, you can exert your power and right to resist, be here/present, and stay connected to yourself if that is what you choose.
As usual, these strategies are offerings that you can decide whether or not they are helpful. You may stop at anytime or adjust the techniques as you see fit. Trust yourself and let your internal reactions (your body) guide you.
Try not to get discouraged or be hard on yourself about doing it "right" (no such thing). Your effort is an action that rejects helplessness.
Please practice these tools safely by ensuring you are not driving, operating machinery, or doing something that requires your focus.
#4: Somatic Touch
#6: Movement
#1: Grounding
There are different ways to ground, but in this post I'll cover physical grounding. This works by directing your energy downward into the earth, which releases excess charge (e.g. anxiety, overwhelm, ruminating thoughts) into earth.
Signs that you might need some grounding? Feeling mentally, physically, emotionally overwhelmed; anxiety; panic; mind is spiraling or spinning; feeling out of control. Grounding can help reduce intensity of distressing feelings and trauma responses.
Steps:
Try grounding by standing barefoot (or better yet - outside in grass or dirt)
Standing on your feet, position your feet below your shoulders
Begin by relaxing your body and becoming more aware of your breath
Shift your attention to your legs and feet by rocking from one foot to the other. You can also push each leg/foot into the ground to sense the strength of your body.
Now focus on your feet and its connection to the surface below
Hold your attention on your feet and body being rooted, grounded, and connected to earth. Perhaps you can feel the weight of gravity pulling you down to earth
You can read a more thorough guide on grounding in my blog post here.
#2: Containment
It is only normal and human to feel overwhelmed during these trying times. When living with fear and despair, it's like everything threatens your sense of safety. Containment can help when feeling overwhelmed and scattered by increasing a sense of control. Below, I'll share two types of containment - mental and somatic.
Mental containment is a method of taking control of stress and overwhelm by temporarily setting distressing content aside until you are ready to face them later. This gives you control over when and where you deal with things, so that you are not completely hijacked by emotions or events. Somatic containment is a way to resource yourself through self-hold (or a self-hug) towards greater internal control and stabilization.
Steps for Mental Containment (Visualization):
Acknowledge or identify the source of your distress (emotions, memory, thoughts)
Try to now center yourself with a few relaxed breaths
Visualize a container of any type with a lid - can be a safe, lock box, bottle, etc
Bring to mind the characteristics that make your container feel secure, and visualize the qualities in great sensory detail by taking in its shape, color, texture, size, sound
Now imagine or visualize placing the distressing thing(s) into the container
Once you've put the content into the container, secure the lid until it's safely sealed
Remind yourself that the distressing stuff will be in the container until you're ready to take it out at a later time
Steps for Somatic Containment
Place your right hand underneath your left armpit with thumb sticking out in front
Place your left hand on your right arm beneath your shoulder, gently gripping
Breathing in, allow your breath to fill the space held between your arms
Gently remind yourself that all your emotions can be safely contained here
#3: Centering with Breath
When destabilized, we are knocked off our center and can feel floaty and disconnected, panicked and mobilized, or both. Centering through focused breathing is a way to anchor to the present moment. It is a way to reclaim your focus and regain footing.
Steps
Sit or stand while trying to relax your whole body from head to toe if possible
Observe the quality of your breath as it naturally ebbs and flows, in and out
Focus now on deepening your breath, slowllllly elongating your exhales
You might even imagine your belly inflating and deflating like a balloon
Stay centered and present by anchoring your attention to your breath whenever your mind wanders by saying, "As I breathe in, I notice my in breath. As I breathe out, I notice my out breath."
#4: Somatic Touch
You can soothe your nervous system with the gift of your own body. Hands on your heart, a self-hug, or gently swaying and rocking yourself - these are some ways to self-soothe when totally overwhelmed, triggered, panicked, or enraged.
Steps
Place one hand on your heart
Place other hand on your belly
Breathe naturally or deeply - whatever feels good
Hold your attention on the tenderness of your hands soothing your body. This can reduce distressing feelings and sensations, and calm the nervous system
#5: Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta) or Prayer
What we say to ourselves can have powerful effects. Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM), aka metta, is a an ancient practice originating in early Buddhism. Research suggests that this practice of reciting loving intentions reduces psychological stress and builds positive feelings and inner state. If you're not comfortable with this, you can also use the power of prayer - towards your higher power, spiritual guide, ancestors, or whoever. You can read more about LKM in my blog post here.
Steps
Start by getting in a comfortable position, take a few centering breaths to focus
Close your eyes if that feels ok - otherwise, you may leave them open
Begin sending loving-kindness thoughts to yourself through phrases such as "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I be at peace." Feel free to say phrases or intentions that resonate with you.
Continue to repeat the loving-kindness wishes or prayers, directed at yourself
(If you would like to send loving-kindness wishes outward to others, continue the steps below. Otherwise, you may also stay with step 4 to cultivate loving-kindness towards the Self)
Think of a loved one or beloved pet/animal, and direct the phrases of loving-kindness towards them. It can help to imagine their face and presence, as if they're by your side. Repeat the phrases that resonate, or say, "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be at peace."
Shift your focus to a stranger or acquaintance, and send loving-kindness to them by repeating the phrases, "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be at peace."
Think of a person you are having difficulty with, or someone who upset you. You might notice physical reactions or emotions arise. If you would like to cultivate loving-kindness, go ahead and direct the wishes towards this person. "May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be at peace." If this feels too stressful or bad, shift your focus back to yourself and send loving-kindness to yourself (Step 3).
Cultivate loving-kindness for all being everywhere. Visualize all animals and plants, in the sea, land, sky, and outward in the universe. Send good wishes for all by repeating the phrase, "May all be happy, may all be healthy, may all be safe, may all be at peace."
To end the meditation, shift your focus now on your body and breath. Notice any pleasant sensations and feelings, notice your breath quality. Open your eyes and continue your day with this energy in your heart.
#6: Movement
Movement is a powerful tool for energy and tension release, self-soothing, and increasing physical and psychological ease. Try to move your body, or a part of your body, based on your energy, capacity, ability, and comfort level. Be curious (and playful if possible) to explore what feels good.
Movement can range from standing up (rather than being sedentary) to a full sprint outside.
You can start slowly by sitting up or standing on your feet, then assessing how this feels in your body and whether you feel more energized
Try an experiential attitude with movement. What feels better to you...swaying softly to instrumentals vs. head banging to some classic rock? standing up vs lying down? going for a walk in nature vs doomscrolling? dancing vs stretching?
Action as an Antidote to Despair and Disempowerment
This post focuses on internal coping skills and actions you can take to keep afloat during these dark times in our country and world. It illuminates how taking action is a panacea to the collective hopelessness that the administration attempts to inflict and drown us in.
However, taking action can go beyond intentionally using the self-soothing toolkit.
If you have capacity or you feel called to take further action, here are some ways:
5Calls.org: Make your voice heard by making calls directly to your constituents in Congress about issues you feel passionate about
CA Rapid Response Network: Contact your local rapid response team. Also has resources such as "Know Your Rights" and what to do if you see ICE.
Find a Protest: organize, locate protests in solidarity, build community
Vote if you are able to
Donate to organizations that you care about if you have the funds
Mindful: be mindful of your media consumption and how it affects your nervous system, mood, mental state. Take a break from social media, news, or internet if needed in order to restore your nervous system. This is not selfish; it is self-preservation. You can acknowledge with gratitude the privilege it is to have this choice.
Community and social support: Lean on a friend or your community. Call or text a trusted person for support and connection, especially if you have been self-isolating.
Get professional support: find a therapist if needed. There are various funds out there for low fee or free therapy. Check out these directories: OpenPathCollective or Inclusive Therapists.
Contact me if you are interested in working together. I am currently offering limited slots in my private practice for 3 free therapy sessions for BIPOC folx in California or Oregon impacted by ICE raids. See flyer below. Additionally, you can ask me directly about therapy at my normal or sliding-scale rates. Seeking help is a strength and an act of self-care, self-love.
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